A Teen Paradoxical Freak

I’d rather that we remain two strangers who can perfectly relate and not known entities.

Unfortunately, I have met people who give the Mean Girls’ mean girls a run for their money. I was never bullied or even teased. I used to be spooked out by how people did their best to maintain a distance even when they seemed to perfectly like me.

I am and had always been a girl who had friends whom she could count on the fingers on her left hand even if her pinky and thumb were cut off. Yep. 

Someone with whom I had struck a chord of friendship (Before I messed up big time) was a person with friends whom he could count till he ran out of fingers even if he was one of the 20 fingered freak. I asked him how he did it and told him that he was so lucky to be in the IN group but he just replied , “ They may be a lot, but none are true.You have few but they all are true.” That really made me wonder what it meant to be in the IN group? Was it all about being cool and getting the maximum likes on Insta and drinking in school camps (Not that he did it)?

I am a straight A, but I don’t care or worry when there are a few who drool over my report card.

Once and for all, I will sum it up- I am a freak. A complete package who can translate Archaic English flawlessly but makes it a point to not do it in English class, lest she be seen as a FREAK. Go ahead and call it a paradox. I am a paradox- A walking, talking, and a shy in a mild wild way. One who’d rather be sitting in a small box and reading Greek Mythology books but likes to pretend that she is claustrophobic when nothing makes her more happy than small, confined , enclosed spaces- preferably air conditioned.

I started this blog with the intent to make people laugh with my certain affinity to write good satire. But well, look at me, at a point when I spelt ‘satire’ wrong thrice before checking it up- Because satire doesn’t go with honest and honest is what I am right now.

I dunno if anyone is reading this or anyone will ever read this ever but I hope that if you know me, you don’t read this. Please lets be strangers who could just RELATE.

I am not a fake  persona. I am just who I am inside out. However , as I said, I am a walking paradox and that makes me shy one minute and wild the second. Still, am I really the only one who is like this? I may not appear fake but sometimes a bit exaggerated- I really am not. Just another mystery in the tapestry of this one wholemeal, full package, stupid, messed up, funny one second and horrible the next, universe.

A person who thinks that a certain other person covered her textbook in a pink coloured paper to support a cause of feminist. Talk about being an absolute freak.

And I will also like to dye my hairs blue, play my guitar someplace where no one could listen and judge the tone and tempo and just be on the road and be in a world where nobody knows me and has absolutely no expectations of how I am supposed to behave, because, I am so sorry, but I always end up disappointing you.

I am a person who wears sweaters on the outside but leather jackets on the inside.

I listen to Mozart AND Lady Gaga.

There are a handful of people who believe me and I hope I don’t run out of them lest I have to cut off all my fingers before I count them.


Remark added two days later: Holy Moly! When was I so depressed?







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